Could my life be better if I was more assertive?

Can I learn to become more assertive?
There are many people who seek to learn as much as they can about assertiveness. It is one of the most popular personal development topics that is searched on the internet.
Assertiveness is described as being the ability to stand up for your rights in a way that does not infringe the rights of others. Being assertive is the ability to communicate your opinions, needs and ideas in a confident and direct manner.
By the way, here's what the Oxford dictionary says about assertiveness ...
"To Assert : to state an opinion, to state a right, or claim authority.... to assert yourself is to behave in a way that expresses your confidence and is likely to earn respect from others"
Never doubt that you have within you the ability to change. I speak from the personal experience of one who spent the first half of my life being too concerned with what others thought of me and therefore sometimes not saying what I really wanted or really thought.
If you are asking "what is assertiveness?" then chances are that you're thinking about making a change ...... With a sense of purpose, persistence and patience I believe that you can achieve the change you seek.
Assertiveness is not being aggressive
Although being assertive and being aggressive both involve expressing what your needs and opinions may be, there are some significant differences in the way with which this is done.
These differences include the words that are used, the tone that is taken, and the body language that accompanies the communication. The aggressive approach is quite demanding and sometimes even intimidating - whereas the assertive approach whilst being firm, is much more willing to listen and discuss the issue with the other party.
The assertive style can be persistent, but is willing to compromise if a fair resolution can be found - whereas the aggressive style tends to be inflexible and controlling, wanting everything their way.
Assertiveness and choice
With a clear understanding of what is assertiveness, and as you develop more of your assertiveness capability - then you gain the freedom to choose how you will respond to difficult people or challenging situations. There will be times when you might choose to confront an issue, and there will be other times when you may choose to walk away from an issue - BUT walking away no longer through fear, but through choice.

How to change?
Changing the way you behave will often also require that you change the way you think. You will need to cultivate a positive attitude and belief that you can achieve the changes that you desire, if you are going to be able to persever - because the change will not happen immediately, But with effort, practice and reflection then have no doubt you can become more assertive in your life. You might find some useful tips on having the right attitude at Positive Thinking
Assertiveness & Saying No
Another aspect to assertiveness is being able to set boundaries with demanding people. This means being able to say no to unreasonable requests that others make of you. There are many people who have trouble saying no, and consequently often find that they can be taken advantage of.
Learning to say NO

Saying NO can be very difficult. People with low self-esteem very often have a lack of assertiveness and think they have to meet the expectations of everyone. It is very hard for them to set limits with others. They sometimes feel ashamed or guilty if they would say NO. But to do things against your will and possibilities will end up in feeling used and resentful.

A simple and direct "NO, I am not able to help you with that" is the best solution. If you want to (have to) give an explanation you should keep it simple:"NO, I have already made an another appointment for this time" or "NO, sorry. I am afraid I have to decline because I have no spare time."
Other ways of saying NO:

“I can´t do this right now.”
“NO, thanks. Not this time. Thank you for asking”.
“Sorry, but NO”.
“Please accept that I cannot come”.

I´d rather not.
To say an assertive NO you should:
Start the sentence with the word NO
Shake your head and use nonverbal assertiveness to underline your NO. Your voice should be clear and direct. Keep eye contact.
If someone makes a request it is fair to ask for time to think it over. The decision should be up to you, but sometimes it is difficult to say NO right now. You can try to use an empathic NO, if you would have helped under different circumstances. Remember : Saying NO is a very honourable response. You have the right to say "No"!



And now... (but only for now) is all for today about Assertiveness
Sincerely I hope this week's blog has been helpful and has provided some idea of ​​assertiveness ...

Have a great weekend friend, and as always I say .... I love reading your comments!

Lorena